This stuff is BANANAS, yo!

((Puff!))

((Pant!))

((Wheeze!))

((Gasp!))

Dear Shaun T,

I'm writing this letter to you with a bright red face, shaking limbs, and dripping sweat. I've been doing your INSANITY workout, and I think you hit the nail on the head when you named this baby. But I have some points I'd like to bring to your attention since our acquaintance will continue for another 48 days.

First, I want to define our relationship. People ask me what I think about this workout program, and being an honest person, I reply, "I hate it. Absolutely hate it." And then in a reluctant, small voice, I add, "But I really love the results." So, you know where I stand.

I have a theory about your intentions on the days you wear your long sleeve Under Armor with the white chest-stitching. You want me to think you take off your shirt because you are warm. I know the truth. And it's not because you want everyone to see your chiseled chest and six pack. Let's call a spade a spade. You want to see yourself without your shirt on.

Were you referring to something besides my grave when you scream, "Dig deeper!"? Because a big, black, gaping hole is all I can see from about the three minute mark on.

I don't understand why you refer to yourself in third person. Furthermore, the updates you give in third person really go without saying. I can see the perspiration falling off your face; I don't need to hear, "Shaun T startin' to sweat!" Also, the third person narration is contagious. 

Worst words of the day: "Jack it out, right now."

I have never met a more arrogant person in my life. My whole life. But the truly insane thing is, I still think you're entirely likable, which is why I keep letting you back in my living room day after day. Thanks for coming.

When you say, "Stand on your right leg for the quadricep stretch," you say that like I have the ability to use my legs at all any more. I find myself yelling out, "Nat G startin' to fall!"

I despise Globe Jumps. Could you find a suitable substitute exercise? Also, I pity the poor foo' who stands behind me when my jiggle starts doing Football Sprints. Just sayin'.

What does, "Take a break, but keep going," mean??

Have you noticed that every time we start the One, Two, Three Heisman move, you say, "Boo! . . .Hah!" Let me be clear. I'm not logging a complaint here. I actually think it's hilarious. It makes me smile every time. I've started to say it with you.

When you ask the cast how they feel during an exercise, and they curse at you, it's not a joke--even though you laugh. It's a measure of how they truly feel. Show some respect.

Can you speak with the camera people and tell them I don't want to see so much of Tania? I haven't decided what it is about her, but I could use a lot less of her in my face while I'm struggling for breath.

Whose idea was it to turn interval training on it's head? Was that you? If so, you are insane. Ingeniously insane. Are you a glutton for punishment, or just a pursuer of crazy results? Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that question.

I think that's all for now, except to say, thanks for today's workout. It was bananas, yo.

Your INSANITY trainee,
Natalie