Pop's Wisdom

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Them apples don't fall far from the trees. 

There's a reason I'm brilliant, witty, fun, confident, and downright crazy. I blame all of it on my parents.

Allow me to share an example, will you? Did you read my recent post? Well my dad did. And he commented, too. If you read his comment, you'll have to excuse the redundancy of my example.

But if you didn't, all is about to be revealed in what I call, "My Latest Love Note from Pop":

"Hi, Scat. 


This is Dad, and have I got a great idea for you! 


Buy a small wireless camera (choose from many models at: http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=12909791)that you discretely mount above the outside of your front door. Further, purchase a programmable electronic LED sign (also available on Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Programmable-Message-Sign-Ultra-RED/dp/B004J7LRCU/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1328234110&sr=8-2). 
Make sure you have the sign connected to a wireless switch. Set up the camera receiver on a TY conveniently placed in your kitchen or family room, etc. 


When a person comes knocking, look on your TV screen to determine who it is. If unwanted, turn on your sign which is pre-programmed to read: "Don't disturb."


If the person keeps knocking, proceed with more aggressive messages such as: "Go away stupid" or "OK, I'm calling the cops." 


If you want to have a lot of fun, hook up a blaring speaker system to coordinate your sign's written message with audio. 


If you choose to hook up this system to the internet, you can view your front door and activate your sign/audio system from anywhere, using your smart phone, such while you are standing in line at Costco many miles away. 


Hope this helps. 


Love, Dad"


Here are the important parts:


1. Dad calls me, "Scat". I'm about to turn thirty-three, and even now, when he uses this nickname, I hear, "Beloved Daughter Whom I Absolutely Adore". But just now while I'm typing this, I realize that the name he calls me is actually a verb, and not a very nice one, either. At least he doesn't call me nouns like, "Booger" or, "Sludge Mop". (I still call him, "Pop", and will for all the days of his life.) 


2. He is the champion of motherhood. His confident voice of encouragement echoes in my heart almost every day of my life. He tries not to burden me with extra duties. Please note that he included the link to Amazon so I wouldn't have to waste any precious time. What I see is, "http://<3 <3 <3 <3". (Aside to Mom: <3 is how you type a heart. I'll show you how to do it sometime.) 


3. In an act of supreme Dad-ness, he has walked me through various contingency plans. No one does contingencies like my dad. No one. Some girls have recipe books. I have a Contingency Plans book with many formulas, including resolutions for: Date Disasters, Babysitting Mishaps, Everyday Pickles, Disciplining Children, and Respecting Your Parents. His advice gets me out of scrapes even now. 


4. He knows I shop at Costco. He knows I have to wait in line there. That makes the pain of it all so much less.


5. His goal is to help me, and his help is on-going. I found a follow-up message in my email, with the subject, "A suggestion for your front door electric sign". I won't reveal the message here, but it made me laugh out loud, and I was thankful to have his permission to use questionable imperatives to scare off creepers who ring my doorbell.


I think next time he comes to town, my electric front door sign will say, "Scat! Scat! Scat!" That should scare off impostors and welcome him, all at the same time. 


It's brilliant! Just like him.