A Little Bit of Hope

Overwhelmed!

It takes everything I have just to keep my family alive. I have no extra time for a project of any kind. Last week, over the course of four days, I spent about twenty-four hours on a project. This week, you can tell that by looking at me/my house/my dogs/my fridge.

It doesn't help that my baby is getting bigger, and every time I rock her to sleep and stare at that sweet face, my mind fills with this terrible commentary, "This might be your last daughter--ever! Enjoy it while you ca...nevermind. She's practically an adult." My husband and other children find me crying about it all the time.

I'm sure the fix to all this is a very long nap, and several days of an early bedtime. ((Snort!)) I might as well wish for a pumpkin to turn into a second front-loading washing machine.

But something wonderful happened to me today! Right when I needed it to! That is why I know God knows me and loves me.

In the midst of the chaos, the dog yelled that someone was at the door. When I went to answer it, there was a box for me. But that's not even the good part.

There--lying in the dirt--pushing through the ice, decaying leaves, and large rocks, were the leaf buds of my tulips!

I couldn't have felt His love more if God had given me a hug Himself. And I couldn't help but see the symbolism.

We may be buried alive, covered with soil and mulch and frozen dreams. But whatever the impossible burdens we are pushing through, there is hope!

Spring will come. We will grow. Our blossoms will be vibrant red. Even when the world is wintery, our souls can be full of life--warm, growing, and swelling with joy.

We just have to respond to the Son, and keep pushing through the dirt.

I Have a Dream

One of my favorite books is The Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery. It made me realize that I had to first have a dream if I ever wanted it to come true. I started wondering what I could add to my world to make it even more beautiful. (Is that even possible?)

Here are my top ten dreams: 

10. Building the perfect mudroom: Walls--floor to ceiling--of cubbies; coordinating and labeled bins; a spot for every shoe, glove, hat, and bag; a place to store all our helmets and boots (we have so many!); a big sink just for washing my dogs; a drain in the middle of the floor; and a door that shuts out the chaos  from the rest of the house.

9. Sleeping until I awaken naturally. I've forgotten what that feels like.

8. Being the kind of beautiful that needs no makeup, hot rollers, or wrinkle cream. 

7. My hair being restored to its former glory. It truly was my one beauty. (I guess it's time I buckle down on building my character, because it's quickly becoming all I have left.)

6. Having a long string of rainy days to curl up with some good classics and get lost in their pages.

5. Hiring a maid.

4. Getting the results I want from all this dieting and exercising.

3. Planting hundreds of tulips under my purple leaf plums. 

2. Being a whiz at math. (I'm sure I can't even begin to imagine what kind of doors this would open for me.) 

1. Clearly communicating the depth of my love for my husband and children. (I'm convinced this one will only come if I pray for it. So I do.) 

Whether shallow, selfish, useful, possible, or just plain fun, sometimes, it's just good to have a dream to escape to.