Overwhelmed!
It takes everything I have just to keep my family alive. I have no extra time for a project of any kind. Last week, over the course of four days, I spent about twenty-four hours on a project. This week, you can tell that by looking at me/my house/my dogs/my fridge.
It doesn't help that my baby is getting bigger, and every time I rock her to sleep and stare at that sweet face, my mind fills with this terrible commentary, "This might be your last daughter--ever! Enjoy it while you ca...nevermind. She's practically an adult." My husband and other children find me crying about it all the time.
I'm sure the fix to all this is a very long nap, and several days of an early bedtime. ((Snort!)) I might as well wish for a pumpkin to turn into a second front-loading washing machine.
But something wonderful happened to me today! Right when I needed it to! That is why I know God knows me and loves me.
In the midst of the chaos, the dog yelled that someone was at the door. When I went to answer it, there was a box for me. But that's not even the good part.
There--lying in the dirt--pushing through the ice, decaying leaves, and large rocks, were the leaf buds of my tulips!
I couldn't have felt His love more if God had given me a hug Himself. And I couldn't help but see the symbolism.
We may be buried alive, covered with soil and mulch and frozen dreams. But whatever the impossible burdens we are pushing through, there is hope!
Spring will come. We will grow. Our blossoms will be vibrant red. Even when the world is wintery, our souls can be full of life--warm, growing, and swelling with joy.
We just have to respond to the Son, and keep pushing through the dirt.
I cry daily, several times a day, that Sam may be my last CHILD. He is growing up before my eyes and I can't even rock him anymore (even though I try sometimes after he is asleep). I am praying for one more chance, one more precious baby, but also trying to find peace with what I have if God chooses not to give me one more.
ReplyDeleteI would give just about anything for one more daughter.
You sweet, dear, wonderful mothers. I know the Son and His Father and so proud of you. They know you are tired, they know it is hard, they know it is lonely, but they know they can trust you to feel the joy and charity that swells in faithful hearts like yours. Well done thou good and faithful servant!
ReplyDeleteThanks Nat, I needed this encouragement today.
ReplyDeleteAnd life is mostly dirt, which is why we know God loves us, because we wouldn't/couldn't survive without the Son.
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